Feed Me
Being involved in ministry over a decade now and serving on four church staffs has allowed me to see some interesting similarities when it comes to leading people and helping them connect to God’s activity in their life.
One thing that has become one of my leadership/spiritual pet peeves (not sure if that is a good term or not, maybe you have a better suggestion) is when people say, "I just want to be fed."
That statement comes from a someone trying to project a sense of spiritual maturity. They want to pull away and focus on themselves and "grow" in their faith. Now, I am all for the growth but I believe it to be quite misguided. First, to pull away from relationships or service goes against the idea of spiritual growth. Jesus could not disconnect our love of God and our love of others. Furthermore, the idea that we need to stop engaging people and focus on ourself shows a little selfishness. As we mature spiritually we should be feeding ourselves more and more; less and less depending on others for our spiritual growth.
My ten month old is more dependent on my me for their food and being fed than my five year-old. Why? My five year-old is more mature and knows where she can get food, what is good for her, when she is ready for food, and how to feed herself.
Tim Stevens had a recent post from a leadership summit he was involved in. You can read more of the post but here are a couple of quotes:
– "After a church did a survey the found…The most satisfied church members were those who were new believers or
early in their faith–and the least satisfied were those who were more
"mature" in their faith."
–"The goal is to slowly make believers
independent. We (as a church) should focus our attention on introducing
people to Christ, and then helping them grow to a certain point. After
that–they should feed themselves and focus on helping the church
introduce more people to Christ."
–"We need to help people "right-size" what they should expect from the church. The reason that the seasoned believers are more dissatisfied is because they still expect the church to be feeding them."
Jason,
I do understand that people need to feed themselves the bible at some point in their walk with God.
Sometime early last year Kyle preached a sermon that was similar in content to one lesson of the ministry class he was teaching. That Wednesday evening Kyle had us look at one passage in Act’s I believe. He taught us to think and ask questions about that one single verse. It was amazing!
On any given Wed. night service how wamny people do you think are there 150-200 in the worship center?
If that is true than that is aprox 10% of the body of christians that attend First Baptist Church of Smyrna right.
So 10% of the congregation learned a cool way to look at the bible and feed themselves, what about the 90% that weren’t there? We assume that they haven’t gone to seminary like the pastoral staff has, so maybe they are still looking for the fork or spoon to get the food in their bodies.
I have to disagree with your statement ” As we mature spiritually we should be feeding ourselves more and more; less and less depending on others for our spiritual growth.”
Shouldn’t we all have a “Paul”(the teacher)and a “Timothy”( the student/learner) and at some point shouldn’t we be that to someone?
That way we are all at some point in our walk with God both learning from those ahead of us and teaching those that are behind us?
Are we ever really so mature in the faith that we no longer need a teacher? I say no, and if other’s say no that means they close themselves off to learning from someone else.
I loved your reference to your children, but wouldn’t you have to say that your five year old only knows how to feed herself because you taught her? Juliana is almost 4 and just because she can feed herself doesn’t mean she can reach the PB&J and the knife and spread it on the bread herself. As children of God we should all be willing to reach out and help each other.
This isn’t an attack on your opinion it is just mine.
Hey Jason. Great post. I got to hear a story this week of this lived out. We have experienced incrediable growth in student ministry this year and as a result we have alot new students who are either lost or new believers. As a result of this growth some of our small groups have gotten very big. Because of the size in some of these groups some of our more mature kids are not getting as much attention as they once did. I heard a story this week of two of our 8th grade girls who are “core students” who meet up together at Starbucks. A church member saw these girls there and asked them what they were doing. They went on to explain to her that there group was so large now that they were doing there own bible study to go a little deeper. They assured this person that “we love our small group, and love the new people in it, but we just need a little more”. How awesome! My prayer is that more people take the responsiblity these 8th grade girls took. These girls still need direction in life and get that here in our student ministry. But how encouraging that they take what they get and go deeper with it! Way to go girls.
Martin,
You obviously have a problem with the evangelism strategy of our church.
I see this as a “both/and” and not “either/or”. I think we have focused too many years on confrontation and many times left out the relationship.
At the end of your comment you state that everything is up to God in evangelism, but you make it all up to you in the beginning of your post by asking “what if they die before I share with them.” God has called you to relationship with them so He knows this whole process, He ordains it.
You also presuppose there will be no verbal witness at all. Incorrect presupposition in my opinion. If God calls you to relationship, He will call you to verbal witness at some point.
I think there is a time for direct confrontational evangelism. It should be used when ever someone feels the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have found that I will always have to be direct in my explaining of the gospel once I have developed a relationship with someone. God will not allow a follower of Christ to “just” develop a relationship. When He calls me to relationships He will always open the door for me to share a verbal witness. If I do not openly share the verbal witness when the Holy Spirit gives opportunity then I am in direct disobedience.
My experience has been too many “Christian” people don’t like relational evangelism because of their fear the church will become “too fleshly”, those who make this claim are rarely seeing anyone come to Christ with their “confrontational” style, if they are even sharing Christ at all. In my opinion those who are against relational evangelism are too afraid of being “stained” by the world, it’s easier to be confrontational than initiate relationships with lost people.
Confrontational evangelism has been the main strategy of the church for many years and we are in no better shape. I think we have neglected the relationship part of evangelism.
According to Leighton Ford a 30 year evangelism associate (Billy Graham’s Bro-in-law also) with the Billy Graham Evang. Assoc. “Through it all, researchers found that the vast majority of those who make religious decisions are brought to gatherings by friends or acquaintances. Trends come and go, but the key remains the same: friends talking to friends about their faith, forming webs of trust.”
This is my opinion just like your thoughts are opinions.
My love for people causes me to have a passion for evangelism. I want to see people become Christ- followers and I work daily to see that happen. For a few years I worked with Bill Fay, author of “Share Jesus without Fear.” In our research we learned that some approaches, although they may confront people with the message of Heaven and Hell, actually leave more lost in the ‘wake’ and the church with a poor reputation.
Here are some examples I try to follow that Jesus practiced: Be a servant and a friend, love like a shepherd, try to be “attactive” to sinners but speak with authority. It is more about loving, meeting needs, and sharing the message in a convincing way rather than trying to win a debate in a confrontational way.
Kyle, Eddie and Martin,
I agree with the points that often we need a relationship before we can share Christ. I believe that that goes without saying. There are many ways to evangelize. Some people need to be eased into being a Christian, some people need to be thrown into it; others need a gentle nudge. Regardless, all need to know the price that was paid.
Confrontational evangelism or “beating someone over the head with a Bible” is not the best approach. The Word of God has to be preached with truth and compassion.
Martin: I understand your statement of wanting to help save someone before they die. I have unsaved loved ones and they have to be handled with compassion and patience. I know that I may not be the one to “win” them to Christ, but I may be watering the seed that’s already there. Something that Kyle said eases my thoughts on the matter. It’s not up to me. I am not the one saving them. All that I have to do is be obedient to the Lord. He is sovereign over all and will work things out according to His will and for His glory. That’s not an easy thing to accept, nevertheless, it is true.
The idea is that we should never stop trying to win people for the kingdom, but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and love and compassion for those who do not yet know Him.
On a closing note, Martin, I do not understand the relevancy of this post under the heading of “Feed Me” which is more of a spiritual growth issue.
I thought I might weigh in on some of the comments from this post.
First, if you are new to the conversation or old, you might see some folks responding to a comment from “Martin Luther”. In the interest of full disclosure, I deleted the comment from the post. I did not delete the comment because the person who wrote it has opinions that disagreed with my post, I deleted the comment because the person did not use their real name.
I struggle with the action of commenting on a blog (mine or otherwise) and not use your real name. Then, to use a name that would give the idea that your opinions are on the level of a famous and influential theologian…gives the feeling of arrogance and superiority. Please have the guts and character to use your name. (Plus, through the wonderful world of internet, IP addresses, and the like…I know who you are “Martin”)
I have noticed that it is easy to take reading blog posts too literally. In several comments from this post and others, I sense that people often read too much into comments…maybe that is part of the blessing and the burden of blogs. The say a large majority of communication is non-verbal which you lose in the blogosphere.
In reference to the original idea, yes it is always beneficial at all stage of spiritual growth to have people to encourage and teach us. Yet, as we journey with Christ our dependence for growth should shift from dependence on others and dependence on our own ability to study God’s Word, pray, process, apply, etc. Hopefully, our spiritual growth will then launch into a pattern of helping others connect to God and equip others for life-change.
As a long-time follower of Christ, do I still learn and I am encouraged by others…absolutely. I immerse myself daily in God’s Word, teaching from close friends and other Christian leaders, etc. But, I do that on my own and take responsibility for myself. I do not wait on or expect other to do that for me…I do expect myself to help others thought, especially those early in their journey with Christ.
I missed your blog comment controversy until now…but having been in a similar position myself (having an “anonymous” poster give harsh feedback) I understand how you feel and just wanted to give you encouragement for handling it gracefully in your response.